she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
