I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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