I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
