woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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