WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
