just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize