There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
