I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
