South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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