how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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