We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
