his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
