i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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