She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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