I wish life had little blips of pornography
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
