Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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