We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
