she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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