I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
