fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
