i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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