we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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