I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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