what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize