google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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