Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
