Texts From Last Night

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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Good. You are like the clit whisperer.

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  (320): Good. You are like the clit whisperer. http://tfl.nu/ycvo
  Replies (26) Good night (6591) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have

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  (215): Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have http://tfl.nu/hv3g
  Replies (42) Good night (3514) Bad night (513) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

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  (416): dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening http://tfl.nu/ihge
  Replies (12) Good night (7022) Bad night (525) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!

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  (530): I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds! http://tfl.nu/6diw
  Replies (62) Good night (6551) Bad night (690) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger

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  (661): His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger http://tfl.nu/nen0
  Replies (32) Good night (11199) Bad night (909) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.

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  (713): After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad. http://tfl.nu/y2nw
  Replies (4) Good night (2471) Bad night (901) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't

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  (925): I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't http://tfl.nu/i8hu
  Replies (29) Good night (5916) Bad night (1092) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye

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  (516): I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye http://tfl.nu/uiop
  Replies (8) Good night (882) Bad night (3837) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.

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  (816): It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/dx67
  Replies (5) Good night (1344) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just make sure my intervention has a theme...

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  (256): Just make sure my intervention has a theme... http://tfl.nu/wrxo
  Replies (9) Good night (1492) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.

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  (647): The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus. http://tfl.nu/lyxj
  Replies (6) Good night (465) Bad night (1397) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?

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  (920): there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room? http://tfl.nu/s38b
  Replies (8) Good night (438) Bad night (1103)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?

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  (785): Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right? http://tfl.nu/9mi0
  Replies (18) Good night (1942) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?

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  (469): How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder? http://tfl.nu/t2rf
  Replies (9) Good night (268) Bad night (1523) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow.

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  (570): Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand? (1-570): Wow. http://tfl.nu/2i6h
  Replies (0) Good night (377) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt

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