Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls? http://tfl.nu/pg74
  Replies (9) Good night (938) Bad night (1588)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens http://tfl.nu/njf7
  Replies (49) Good night (688) Bad night (3473)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air http://tfl.nu/jv3m
  Replies (31) Good night (820) Bad night (3675)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long http://tfl.nu/r5ag
  Replies (31) Good night (7367) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless. http://tfl.nu/eill
  Replies (29) Good night (6636) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck. http://tfl.nu/gl2y
  Replies (7) Good night (3431) Bad night (1409)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now. http://tfl.nu/5jdl
  Replies (13) Good night (6038) Bad night (1207)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication. http://tfl.nu/d8fz
  Replies (4) Good night (2001) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think http://tfl.nu/ydqs
  Replies (17) Good night (1000) Bad night (2283)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point http://tfl.nu/65lu
  Replies (4) Good night (504) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive http://tfl.nu/6zkp
  Replies (10) Good night (616) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired. http://tfl.nu/40ai
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS http://tfl.nu/n1yt
  Replies (5) Good night (571) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning... http://tfl.nu/vayp
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob. http://tfl.nu/73ex
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (173)

Randomize