So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
