Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.

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  (209): Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy. http://tfl.nu/mqdd
  Replies (25) Good night (1987) Bad night (664)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?

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  (614): youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right? http://tfl.nu/3ekq
  Replies (19) Good night (821) Bad night (1860)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.

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  (256): One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project. http://tfl.nu/03dc
  Replies (38) Good night (1474) Bad night (5141)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.

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  (484): In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas. http://tfl.nu/7vr2
  Replies (11) Good night (3430) Bad night (1429)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.

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  (678): What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick. http://tfl.nu/v9tv
  Replies (11) Good night (4065) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to

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  (506): I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to http://tfl.nu/sk6c
  Replies (25) Good night (5626) Bad night (1643)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale

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  (810): He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale http://tfl.nu/d08t
  Replies (10) Good night (941) Bad night (4212)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

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  (859): I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here. http://tfl.nu/288t
  Replies (4) Good night (1981) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

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  (610): Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card. http://tfl.nu/uepf
  Replies (12) Good night (4585) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.

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  (360): Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded. http://tfl.nu/tq2s
  Replies (4) Good night (858) Bad night (1660)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.

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  (770): good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed. http://tfl.nu/g7ri
  Replies (4) Good night (2828) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.

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  (714): It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs. http://tfl.nu/jalq
  Replies (13) Good night (532) Bad night (1989)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.

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  (720): I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer. http://tfl.nu/jm0p
  Replies (7) Good night (536) Bad night (1243)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.

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  (515): We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high. http://tfl.nu/7iqu
  Replies (13) Good night (1359) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Why are you there anyways?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist

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  (313): Why are you there anyways? (248): Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist http://tfl.nu/9tvc
  Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (469)

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