Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
only you would photoshop your dick
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her