I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
