I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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