i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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