plz talk dirty to me
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
