with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.