Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
