You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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