I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
