"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
