Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
