You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
