No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
