Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
