Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
