Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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