He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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