I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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