BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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