I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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