my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
