i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
