Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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