I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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