I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
