you would pick up someone in the library
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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