Already got asked if we're dating
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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