STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
