In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize