Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize