dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize