If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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